If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the day after is always just damage control
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
