they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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