dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
