My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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