just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
