No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
