Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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