So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
