Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
