so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
