remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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