Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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