do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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