That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize