You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
