Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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