Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
