so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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