I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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