Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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