So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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