Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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