if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
