So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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