I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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