any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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