Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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