I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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