dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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