i was born a porn star she said
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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