your room smells of hookers.
And success
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
