i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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