I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Randomize
