1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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