Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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