it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
