Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.

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  (847): Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals. http://tfl.nu/x5r2
  Replies (20) Good night (1176) Bad night (5612)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the worst part is we had a camera rolling

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have to watch that.

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  (215): the worst part is we had a camera rolling (267): Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys? (215): Yes. (267): I have to watch that. http://tfl.nu/u325
  Replies (30) Good night (5479) Bad night (1551)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles. 

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  (+44): Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles. http://tfl.nu/yunu
  Replies (3) Good night (3891) Bad night (877)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.

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  (781): I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it. http://tfl.nu/04ep
  Replies (13) Good night (3060) Bad night (1294)
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  (805): View more from California

  I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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  (805): I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights. http://tfl.nu/b17v
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (623)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES

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  (715): your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage (608): HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES http://tfl.nu/buhh
  Replies (5) Good night (2695) Bad night (724)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.

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  (609): Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good. http://tfl.nu/lsij
  Replies (3) Good night (1331) Bad night (603)
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  (650): View more from California

  Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens

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  (650): Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens http://tfl.nu/mv4i
  Replies (13) Good night (2475) Bad night (1403)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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  (901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (340)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust

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  (513): It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust http://tfl.nu/67aa
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (954)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.

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  (403): painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both. http://tfl.nu/p28a
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.

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  (813): Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me. http://tfl.nu/mgc8
  Replies (6) Good night (425) Bad night (177)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.

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  (317): He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass. http://tfl.nu/vcg7
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (228)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can't feel body but making pizza rolls

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  (203): Can't feel body but making pizza rolls http://tfl.nu/bvzo
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (106)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha

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  (717): It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha http://tfl.nu/bslu
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (92)

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