Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1244) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im poppin the ladies like they're bacne

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  (845): im poppin the ladies like they're bacne http://tfl.nu/xag8
  Replies (24) Good night (783) Bad night (4000)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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  (561): i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls http://tfl.nu/2rar
  Replies (20) Good night (3412) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

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  (757): I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling. http://tfl.nu/uymu
  Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (2208)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"

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  (518): He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!" http://tfl.nu/furw
  Replies (68) Good night (7487) Bad night (2080)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.

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  (504): This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point. http://tfl.nu/a4gy
  Replies (5) Good night (894) Bad night (2758)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

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  (419): I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/3fs0
  Replies (3) Good night (1692) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers

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  (617): His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers http://tfl.nu/2b5k
  Replies (9) Good night (1782) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.

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  (519): There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway. http://tfl.nu/ij44
  Replies (10) Good night (1816) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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  (+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm
  Replies (20) Good night (4864) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults

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  (810): You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults http://tfl.nu/ltaq
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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  (401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2152) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.

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  (203): MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over. http://tfl.nu/zav4
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (1476)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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  (901): Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this...... http://tfl.nu/c0ql
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

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  (209): I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore http://tfl.nu/6h5d
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (370)

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