I'm drive I can fine osifer
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.