Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!

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  (248): Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count! http://tfl.nu/jr1g
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (818)
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  (951): View more from California

  Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

  (949): View more from California

  Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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  (951): Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn? (949): Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER. http://tfl.nu/x4x0
  Replies (29) Good night (1165) Bad night (3962)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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  (770): He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle. http://tfl.nu/uuu6
  Replies (15) Good night (6542) Bad night (784)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.

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  (702): She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed. http://tfl.nu/1h0x
  Replies (10) Good night (3429) Bad night (978)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

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  (678): Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college. http://tfl.nu/311k
  Replies (6) Good night (2566) Bad night (1046)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.

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  (914): i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/xwvv
  Replies (13) Good night (6533) Bad night (1023)
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  (760): View more from California

  It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.

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  (760): It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major. http://tfl.nu/zd3s
  Replies (4) Good night (1969) Bad night (1095)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.

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  (780): I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am. http://tfl.nu/rp62
  Replies (8) Good night (848) Bad night (1132)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.

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  (410): Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea. http://tfl.nu/1cgp
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (656)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight

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  (302): I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight http://tfl.nu/n5g0
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (569)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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  (732): Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking. http://tfl.nu/mu8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (417)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List

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  (405): Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List http://tfl.nu/9eia
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?

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  (631): Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert? http://tfl.nu/xdif
  Replies (7) Good night (559) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.

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  (248): By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it. http://tfl.nu/tqx4
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (345)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket

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  (917): Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket http://tfl.nu/kk5i
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (177)

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