Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize