yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
