Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize