Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I FOUND THE LEGS
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
