i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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