It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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