Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
