Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I AM VODKA MAN
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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