STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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