you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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