it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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