Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
