do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
