It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
