she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
