hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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