you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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