Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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