he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize