I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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