so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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