im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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