I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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