Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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