Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
