I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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