Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
